seeding hope carrier

In search for a melody that is sweeter

In longing for your deeper shelter 

I turn over everything on my way

in my endeavour to know me

to feel safer,  braver 

I wait impatiently at this doorway

Of dying, of chaos, confusion

In the middle of pandemonium 

In the midst of troubled world

It is as if you abandoned me 

Left me lost , left me barren 

Wailing through a storm

In this painstaking search 

I see

I ought to take the stock of myself

In sudden pausing something makes its way

slip through unnoticed 

Gently placing its finger to my lips

To quieten chattering head 

In clear emptiness

I forget what I was thinking

In this spacious nothingness

Where all turns into warp

You appear

Not as the vision of my mind 

But inner voice, intuitive sense

Inner knowing 

A clearing space

An opening 

Of flux and transience

Unfolding 

An uttering of sacred within

Your voice say

Listen now please

I am your inner 

Goddess that knows you well

Hear this and let me be heard

Retreat and trust now

Drop that fear

Like an old heavy cloak

As a carrier of seeds

travelling around globe

And healing your own wounds

You need time

And safety of this nest space

To pause, to gather your strength

Have a space to be still

To heal your own injured wings

Before running back into

New venture 

For your next leap of faith

And like stream

Instinctively recognize  

Your mother river

By the sound of her flow

Your light trickle

Vibrates far in the ocean

Of water world

And it's elementals 

Beckoning you home 

And then you vanish

As if figment of my imagination

A silence

winding out into nothing 

spiralling snake

Like a whirling dervish

Like vortex in the heart centre

And I sense

Not in my control

The strange taste of unknown in my mouth

A shooting pain down my spine

The muddy waters of the day

A homelessness of human form

So much burden and anquish

Is not meant to be carried alone

But shared together

We choose to feel the part of one 

Conscious flame

Mere Stillness

In a moment 

Allowing 

Letting in

Facing the whole world

As fetus cocooned in  

the womb of a mother

Treasure finding its seeker

You are the alchemy 

Of wild healing

A Seeding Hope Carrier.

 2019